Respecting the Edges - Same-sex Adoption

Waiting for an explanation as to how I could say such a terrible thing, my girl-friend looked at me horrified. She had said that after the Israeli courts decision to oppose same-sex couples adopting, she was thinking about leaving the country for good. For her it was the last straw on a high stack of daily injustices, frustrations and mishaps which come with life in Israel. For the record I openly state that I fully support same-sex couples adopting children, but my comment required some explaining.

“I’m glad I live in a country where same-sex couples are not yet allowed to adopt.” I had said. And this is what I meant. In this day and age when the gates of liberalism have been flung so far open that there are no longer boundaries or constraints on almost anything, I am glad that in Israel, we still have healthy debate around important issues like adoption, abortion and gender pronouns.

Almost daily I am shocked by what floats across my newsfeed. I am shocked that children are legally married off to pedophiles in the United States, and that rape is justified in the courts of Europe citing ‘cultural’ differences as an excuse. I am shocked that some states in the US are yet to outlaw bestiality while just across our borders animals are used daily to satiate the sexual appetites of ISIS fighters. I am shocked that the Germany Green Party warmly welcomed the “pedosexual” movement which advocated for the legalization of sex between adults and children as late as 1980. I am shocked that a baby can still be aborted at 36 weeks in America’s capitol and I am shocked at the ludicrousness of the declaration of worlds first ‘genderless’ infant born in Canada last year.

I am not for one minute equating the adoption of a child by responsible, same-sex parents in a committed and loving relationship with bestiality or rape. I am merely saying it’s important that the advocates on both sides of the debate come up against each and are forced to justify and explain their positions before a broadly educated public and in a court of law. I feel safer knowing that before the next generation are rendered ‘genderless’ by a movement based on the groundless whims of an insecure but vocal few, that at least in Israel, serious dialogue will strip away the outer frivolous layers of personal opinion and get to the bottom of the issue with respect and consideration.

Without doubt the swing towards liberalism has brought some healthy developments to the globe and I am often at the forefront of many an alternative online battle. But my personal opinion matter little. What is important here is the understanding that unrestrained expansion, leads to fundamentalism. It’s a simple law of nature. Fanaticism is a natural response to liberalism.

So how is change possible without creating an extreme backswing? For change to be real, to be grounded and well established, the seeds have to be planted, watered and fed. Today we fight for same-sex equality, tomorrow for same-sex marriage and the next day for the rights of same-sex couples to adopt children. The balance comes from healthy debate, intelligent discussion, procedure and integration. 

One day soon I hope, in Israel same-sex couples will be able to adopt, but until that time let us all find solace in the knowledge that when they do, their children will grow up in a country that understands and respects the edges, even as they expand and contract, moving slowly towards change.